Temporary Loser

You can call me a loser.
I won't mind.
But, only in this very time.

Look, what could I've done in the next few days.
I'm gonna be so proud of my self ;D

Anyway, I miss family so much. They come into my dream more often.
Be healthy dear mamak, atah, abang-abang, kak intan dan nenek. May Allah SWT always protect you all.

Thank You for days of heaven

I Thank You for two days off in every week, God.

I Thank You for weekend.

I Thank You for every happiness I got in every special two days: Saturday and Sunday.

I Thank You for let me have a days for being my own self.

To let me stop running for a while;
Run from one activity to another that I always do in the others day.

I'm not complaining for the other five days You give me.

I just so thankful for days of heaven You give for us.

Thank You. And I love You :)

Who are they?

Don't you feel curious with my previous post?
Who I mean with 'them'?

Ah, I just become more delutional these days.
No one will gets curios since I don't even know if anybody out there is going to read this post anyway.

Well. I still want to explain this.

It's something which make me feel so happy.
They really are my escape from reality.

I knew them since last January and unconsciously I found my self already one of their fans.

Two simply reasons why I adore them are because they are funny and well mannered.
I won't add gorgeous or something like that because I know many people out there waaaayy more better than them. And the most important thing, I don't considering that point as an important ones.

And YES, I do enjoy my fan girling time :)

See you soon, 2PM!

Or I can say, see you very soon.
Because it's only one day till we meet ;))

November 8th was my lucky day

WHY?

This is the reason.

I won the fan signing event quiz.

So, as a reward I'm gonna meet the six of them in person and get their autographs.

Let me just....die.

Have you found your Alif Fikri?

I think I've found my Alif Fikri.

But, he doesn't see me as his Raisa I guess.

Now Playing: Someone like you *sambil megang silet*

We are all the same, you know.

I'm currently re-reading my one of favorite novels from Windhy Puspitadewi.
The titled is Let Go.
This novel is basically about friendship and just like the title said: letting go, of people who used to be the one we heart..

Then, I found something that catches my attention.
This.


"Pernah dengar kisah tentang ulat dan kupu-kupu?
Kalau ada kupu-kupu yang terperangkap di sarang laba-laba, orang cenderung akan menolong kupu-kupu itu walaupun mungkin si laba-laba belum makan selama berhari-hari.
Tapi gimana kalau yang terperangkap adalah ulat yang belum jadi kupu-kupu?
Orang tetap nolong nggak? Padahal, keduanya sama. 
...
Di dunia ini, memang harus cantik supaya ditolong."


Well, it's not like I never read the sentences before, but it's just really hit me this time.
And I was like, "Aah it's so true. Am I one of those people who has this scary behavior? Only help people because of certain reasons?"

It is a reminder.
For me. For you, whoever happens to read this post.
To not being a picky person. To do not need a reason for helping people.


Welcome November! =]

please tell me how.

Why is it so hard to keep my mouth silent and not enjoying talking about others?

*peluk windi*

"Ih, mirip banget, Cha! Jodoh tuh." --Windi Astriana, 23 Oktober 2011.

Finally, JJC!

I'm so ready fo Jogja Java Carnival tonight!!

Since I didn't have a chance to see the carnival in last two year.
I was at home in 2009 cause of lebaran holiday and last year I went to Kaliurang for campus familitarity night ( I don't know if it's a proper words for malam keakraban in english, is it? )

So, tonight I finally have a chance to see the carnival! woo-hoo!
I hope it'll going fun as much as I expected ;D

Hope everyone has a great saturday night as well! :3

when you need to find a peace

I just got back from Gramedia. Alone.

I can't handle my own life lately.
Everything seems to be in rush and I don't put my best effort.
I need to put my mind in peace.

That's why I went there.
My heaven on earth, Bookstore.

ps. sekarang gramed sudirman makin bagus aja ye, pake karpet segala kaya di mesjid.

words that I should avoid

Seumur-seumur saya ngga pernah mengumpat pake kata 'f**k'.

Bukan. Bukan sok alim atau rendah diri tinggi mutu.
Ngumpat itu menurut saya bikin kecanduan.
Sekali saya nyebutin, pasti saya keterusan dan berulang-ulang nyebut kata itu lagi.
Maka saya mutusin ga ngucapin kata itu, selain karena alasan kemampuan inggris saya kalo ngomong malu-maluin jadi bakal lebih malu-maluin lagi kalo jago make englishnya cuma pas ngumpat.

Saya sendiri juaranya kalo soal ngumpat.
Masa-masa paling jahiliyah dalam hidup saya itu ya waktu sekolah, sekitaran SMA.
Bagi saya saat itu, ngumpat adalah hal biasa. Ya selow aja gitu mau ngomong apa, toh selewat juga hilang terus lupa deh.
Tapi sejahiliyah-jahiliyahnya umpatan saya dulu, saya tetap bukan pecinta binatang.
Saya adiknya Irwansyah, jadinya saya pecinta pria. Halah.
Penduduk kebun binatang yang sering saya panggil-panggil cuma sebatas boots temennya dora atau kambing jantan ;)

Sekalinya saya pernah nyebut 'gae' (korean word for dog), itu waktu kelas 2 SMP.
Saya masih ingat detail ceritanya sampai sekarang kenapa saya sampai bisa nyebutin kata itu.
Dan sampai sekarang pula saya masih menyesal kalo ingat kejadiannya.


Berlebihan? Ngga juga sih.
Saya kan udah bilang, bagi saya ngucapin sebuah kata umpatan itu 'candu'.
Maka dari dulu saya mati-matian menahan mulut untuk tidak pernah mengumpat dengan sebutan hewan-hewan yang lucu itu.


Kalo saya mau cari kambing hitam dari kejahiliyahan mulut saya jaman sekolah dulu, maka dengan gampang saya bakal nunjuk abang-abang saya. Bahahaha!
See, you know how bad my attitude is ;)

Jelas tidak. Tidak ada satu orang pun yang bertanggung jawab soal ini selain diri saya sendiri. Mulut-mulut saya, ya harusnya saya sendiri yang harus menjaga!
Gila, kurang wise apa saya coba? *tenang ini hanya kamuflase*

Well, bukan berarti daritadi saya melulu ngomong 'masa jahiliyah pas sma' jadi sekarang saya udah terbebas dari masa itu.
Belum! Benar-benar belum. Masih jauh.

Tapi setidaknya sekarang memang ada perubahan.
Kalau dulu abis ngomong terus saya selow aja kaya ga ada kejadian, sekarang udah 'agak' berubah.
Biasanya saya udah langsung nyadar dan mengurung diri di kamar dua hari dua malam ngga makan sebagai bentuk rasa penyesalan. Yah walopun tetap aja judulnya uda telat -_-.

Sekarang, saya lagi berusaha mati-matian (ga segitunya juga sih.....) nyari kata-kata yang acceptable kalo pengen ngumpat. Sampai saat ini masih sekitar 'sampah' atau 'gembel'....................

Ada ide yang lebih sopan?


Balik ke bahasan yang paling awal dari tulisan ini tadi, 'seingat' saya, saya memang ga pernah sekalipun nyebutin kata itu sebelumnya.
Tapi barusan, tanpa sengaja saya menginjak sebiji isi staples dan dengan santainya dia meluncur masuk ke dalam kulit telapak kaki saya.
Dan di tengah kehebohan teriak-teriak karena kesakitan itu. lalu mulut saya tanpa permisi langsung mengucap, f***...................

Dan terbengonglah saya sendirian. Lalu buru-buru lari ke laptop untuk mengetik postingan ini.
(Plis plis bayangin muka saya yang imut ini lagi bengong, duduk di tempat tidur dengan mulut menganga).
Sekian.

Some people think use that kind of curse words will make them look cool.
But, you know what? You'll just end up make yourself look pathetic.

“Orang kuat itu bukanlah yang menang dalam gulat tetapi orang kuat adalah yang mampu menahan nafsu amarahnya.” (HR. Bukhari dan Muslim)

for a girl who started to be an ambitious

One step at a time, Please.

You have too much focus.
You'll kill yourself. Soon.

Sincerely, your soul who doesn't want to die young. yet.

what is it?

There are times when you really want to never have siblings.

When you think.
Do they really love you as you thought?
Do they really care?
Or do they always put your name in their prayer as you always did?

When you really curious.
If they are given a choice, would you be their first? More than their lovers?

Then, you start doubting yourself..

Yeah, these feelings can come anytime.
Like. Right now.

August 18, 2011

20!
:D :D :D

...

I shouted over my mom and rejected the call first.
I guess I'm on my own way to hell now.



Sorry, Mom.

00.50 AM

I just feel like writing a post tonight. Or is it morning, already?

Suddenly I feel bad.
I'm not doing anything right in my life yet.
I pray always in the last time. I always in rushed. Just think it as a duty.  Not a time to talk to God. The time for me to thank Him about everything. Thank Him for the live He gave me. For all the chances  for all the blessed..
For every seconds He gave me and my family..
I lost the essence from praying itself. I made it lost.

I never take my studies seriously.
I do everything in the last minute.
The exam, the quiz, the material. All of them.
I lack in everything.

I'm not trying my best to make my parents and brothers proud of me.
For their happiness.

You're here. You're near.
Please, forgive me. And help me to be a better person.


We created man and We know what his own self whispers to him. We are nearer to him than his jugular vein. (Surah Qaf: 16)

Monday morning.

I woke up and got a message.

A : Kim Hyo Ae selamat ujian yaa :* sukses yaaa :D

 

(because of the silly game, I found out that my Korean name is Kim Hyo Ae, and  'this friend'  started to call me with that name -_-)

then, the meaningless conversation just begun

Kim: Hari ini ga ada jadwal. Tapi tetap gomawoooo =))

 A: Yaaaah. Udah semangat pun -_-

       Besok ada? Biar aku ucapkan lagi

Kim: Besok cuma ngumpul tugas. Eh ada ujian tertulis juga

A: Yaaah udah! Sukses ya :*

Kim: Eh salah.

A: -____-

Kim: Rabu ujian tertulisnya

A: Kirim aja jadwal kau sini

Biar aku lihat sendiri

Kim : =))

A: Hahahahahahahahahaha

Kim: hahahahahaha. Rabu aku ujian tertulis

A : -____-

      Rabu nanti aku ucapi ya ;)

Kim Hyo Ae: -___- Kok nggak bilang dari tahun lalu aja mau ngucapinnya?

                 Eh tapi tetap gamsa hamnida, gomawo, gomapta :))

A : zzzzz =))               

Well, this post I made  just to let others know that I’m in the middle of mid-term weeks! Wish me luck, good-hearted readers! :')

 ps. until now, I always get annoyed when someone send me this kind of emoticon --> :*  I never use it in my conversation either. By the way, 'this friend' have a similiar korean name with me, it's Kim Yong Bin :))

Derby yang (sayang sekali) mengesalkan

Saya sedang kesal. Kesal sekali

Derby Della Madoninna baru aja selesai dan tentu saja dengan segala kerendahan hati dan HURUF KAPITAL, SAYA INGIN MEMBERITAHUKAN PEMENANGNYA AC MILAN! 3-0! 

Tapi saya tetap kesal, karena kenyataannya saya ga nonton pertandingannya dari awal :((((

It seriously makes me mad cause I desperately wanted to watch this match! Who’s not anyway?!

Aaaaaaah!

Dari jam 12 saya uda nungguin, feeling bakal ketiduran juga uda ada. Makanya saya uda niat minum kopi, tapi ya itu cuma sebatas niat. Pertandingannya masih sekitar 1 jam 45 menit lagi, saya uda prepare dengan sengaja ga matiin lampu kamar dan ngencengin suara tv. Tujuannya supaya ga bakal ketiduran, kan kalo terang dan suara ribut, tidur juga jadi susah. Begitu pikir saya. Tapi kenyataannya beda, saya lupa itu hanya berlaku buat manusia normal. Bukan buat manusia korban gigitan lalat tse-tse yang minimal waktu tidurnya 15 jam  sehari -_-

Saya pun sempat ketiduran, tapi 10 menit sebelum pertandingan mulai langsung kebangun. Hape saya bunyi. Seseorang dari pulau seberang nanyain Milan mainnya jam berapa, dia pengen liat Pato. Begitu dibilang Milan main jam 01.45 dia langsung mundur teratur. Ngantuk katanya. Tapi saya sangat – sangat berterimakasih, “untuuuung nanyain, aku ketiduran barusan” beberapa detik setelah mengetik kata – kata syukuran itu saya langsung ketiduran lagi. Selama satu jam. Lebih.  Sekian.

Bangun – bangun uda menit 60an. Skor 2-0. Pato baru aja nyetak gol keduanya yang tentu aja ga sempat saya liat. Saya langsung ngecek, Pato nyetak 2 gol. Nice. Chivu kartu merah. Double Nice.

Sisa 30 menit saya tonton dengan ekspresi datar. Pato off diganti Urby Emanuelson. Saya yakin Emanuelson ini dulunya aktor Hollywood. Kalo ga percaya liat aja film God must be Crazy, mukanya 11-12 sama pemeran utama. Muka saya semakin datar karena sempat ngeliat Gattuso uda di pitch AJAH! *guling2*. Belakangan saya baru tau kalo Gattuso digantiin Flamini karena cedera. Ah, these times are hard for him :((

Robinho off, Cassano in. Cassano nyetak gol ketiga dengan bonus 2 kartu kuning. Minimal hidup saya ga terlalu sia – sia, sempat ngeliat gol ketiga.

Pertandingan selesai. Muka girang Pato dan Gattuso di-shoot berulang – ulang. Saya semakin kesal. Sama diri sendiri.

Tapi biarin ah, yang penting Milan tetap menang *menghibur diri sendiri*. Leonardo tetap kalah. Pato (tetap) sama Barbara Berlusconi. Gattuso tetap sama saya. Tidak ada yang berubah. Wassalam.

15-03-11

 

 

Dear  Andriy Mikolaiovich Shevchenko,

First, what should I call you? Brother? Sok akrab ye? And you ‘re just too old to be my brother anyway. My parents age of married is only 31 years, it doesn’t make a sense for you to be my brother. Poor me.

How about father? Errr, you’re way too young and too cute for that ;) 
(Well, I don’t say my father is not cute, he’s mooooore than that :p)

Ah forget it, I just call you with your name. Sheva, right?

Yeah we’re that close XD

All I wanna say is, it was a good time to see you again a few days ago… in the field.It’s really really reaaaaaaally a relief for me to see you on that match against City. You even made a goal! Though I don’t watched your game fully, it was still a great time!

And I have to say this.  You look …. Older, Sheva :(

But no problem, it doesn’t matter for me. You’re still in my heart. Halah.

By the way, how’s life? Are you doing good?

Is Ahjumma Kristen doing good too? Zz I forget, your wife is not Korean ;) 

Since she’s American I’ll change it to Untie, then. Is Untie Kristen doing good? (sounds right,ha? :D) Is she taking a good care of you? If she can’t, I’ll do it FOR SURE. I’ll fly away to Ukraina and just leave my college (and all the assignments) with all my heart as long as you give me the ticket.  Will you? :’)

And how about our children? Eh, your children I mean. 

Are Jordan and Christian doing good too? I hope they are.

Mmm, what else?

Oh ya, I know. I want ask you a question. 
Are you, by any chance, like 2PM too, dear Sheva?

In case, you don’t have any idea about them, I’ll tell you then. They are a boysband from Korea. They really attracted my attention, lately.  Go google it, Sheva! Find a video titled I’ll be back. And you’ll laugh till death just like I did :))

It’s already 00.04 AM here, and I have to finish my assignments.

They are three and I don’t even start one of them.

Globalization, Japan foreign affairs’s summary and position paper for KoMUN! I’m going to hit them now! Wish me luck, woke. Daaaaaah.

See you somewhere on Earth (hopefully) soon! ;)

Sincerely, an unstable college student.

after a long hibernation

I'm BACK!

and just made a promise with my own self to keep updating this blog in the future.

well, we'll see how long I can keep my words. One month? two weeks? one day? :3

I wanted to watch this series since a long time ago, but yeah I just started watching it YESTERDAY.

People said it was one of the good series.

I'll see then.

anyway, I'm home right now

and YES, it couldn't be better :D